Sex Anxiety? Try Sensate Focus

 

What is Sensate Focus?

Developed by therapists Masters and Johnson in the 1960s, this technique can help you improve intimacy and communication with sexual partners, reduce anxiety about sexual performance, and interrupt spectatoring, or getting stuck in your thoughts and losing focus during sex instead of enjoying the moment.

 

How do you do it?

By being mindful and living in the present time, present moment during sexual activities.  It is not about focusing on the outcome (i.e., the orgasm) but focusing on the senses, like temperature, pressure, and sounds.  A therapist who specializes in sex therapy can help guide you on exactly how to do this.

 

Tips to Getting Started with Sensate Focus:

Remember that it is about being sensual, not sexual (no orgasms while using this skill)

Use non-genital touching

Be in the present time, present moment

Explore your senses – use incense, candles, music

Focus on your feelings

Discuss, journal, process