How to involve your partner in the healing process after a loss

Although women are the ones who physically experience a miscarriage, it is also their partners who are dealing with emotional hardships. For some partners it may be hard for them to express verbally what they are feeling but thoughts are running through their minds. For most men their typical attitude is to ‘fix’ the crisis. You might see them working longer hours at work, doing projects around the house, or constantly doing something to keep them occupied. This is generally a way to cope for them.

As a female, we have to be concrete about the way we feel and express our exact thoughts and emotions to our partners. You may be overwhelmed with emotions and that is perfectly normal after experiencing a loss. However, if you need space physically and mentally, inform your partner of this. If you need to be held, feel overwhelmed, need to speak to them but not have them say anything back, let them know this. Your grieving process may be different from theirs and that is okay. They will never know the trauma you felt physically, mentally, or emotionally but they are still there for support.

If you and your partner are having different reactions to your loss, you may start to feel alone in your relationship or even start wondering if you should be together. Try to remember that it’s normal for you to feel differently from your partner about this and it doesn’t mean that your relationship isn’t working.

Continue working on self care and communicating with your partner. Grief can put a strain on the best of relationships. If you feel like the stress of your loss is pulling you and your partner apart, it may help to get some professional support. Click ‘schedule an appointment’ today to schedule a free 15 minute consultation.

Monica Bartley, SWT