WHAT THE HECK IS SEX THERAPY?
The first question that always comes up when starting sex therapy — “You’re not gonna touch me, are you?” Nope! No touching involved don’t worry.
So what do we do in sex therapy sessions then? What is sex therapy, and why would you need to see someone trained in sex therapy? Read on.
There are two kinds of energies in relationships — compassion and eroticism, or what we can refer to as Eros. The opposite of Eros is Thanatos, or death, so if you are alive you have Eros. The compassion is defined as the caring for each other, working together as one team, raising children perhaps, taking care of life responsibilities, going to the movies, spending time with your families. The Eros is the sexual energy — romance, kissing, sex, intimacy. Eros is a part of being alive, yet we don’t talk about it too often. We might even feel ashamed of it due to cultural issues, familial morals, or being traumatized in the relationship (i.e., lied to, cheated on). As we grow older, we might experience decreased sexual intimacy as a result of changing life roles or even problems with arousal and dysfunction. It’s important that we can talk openly and address these things since sex is such a huge part of who we are.
And that’s what we do in integrative couples and sex therapy, we resolve issues regarding compassion and Eros. I have some FAQs below of some commonly asked questions regarding this type of therapy. If you have any other questions, I encourage you to reach out through call, text, or email — I’m happy to offer you a 15-minute phone consultation so that I can get all your questions answered before we get you on the schedule. Remember, you deserve happy relationships and fulfilling sex lives, so let’s get you there.
Some FAQs about sex and couples counseling:
- How do we do resolve issues in therapy?
- Through discovering the roots of the problem with lots of communication. You would also be encouraged to complete homework assignments with your partner or partners as well. We’ll discuss the success and the struggles you had with the homework, and I’ll likely assign new tasks at the following session.
- Who can attend couples and sex therapy?
- Individuals, couples, those involved non-monogamous relationships.
- Does the therapist touch the clients
- Nope, just talking.
- Will I be expected to engage in sexual activities during the session?
- Not at all. You just may be asked to complete homework involving sex outside of the sessions. We will then discuss how it went at the next session.
- What if I feel embarrassed talking about these things?
- That’s okay! Talking about intimate and private things can feel embarrassing, especially taking to a complete stranger. You can always tell me as much or as little as you want to tell me. I specialize in this, so I’m used to talking about things like porn, low sexual desire, and infidelity. I’ll take steps to make you feel as comfortable as possible.
- What will the therapist think of me?
- As always, no judgement. Truly. We talk about tough stuff at times, and it’s all good. I’m here to help you.
Kristyn Macala, MSEd, LPCC, CCTP, CSOTP
The Trauma Therapy Company