Borderline Personality Disorder:
When Every Emotion Feels Like an Emergency: Life with BPD
If you’ve ever felt like your emotions are just too loud, like your reactions come too fast and too hard and you can’t hit pause, you’re not alone. If you’ve been told you’re “Too much,” “too sensitive,” or that you “take things too personally,” you might be struggling with something more than just a bad day. You might be living with borderline personality disorder, and if so, I see you.
Let’s talk about it.
You Feel Everything. All the Way.
One of the hardest parts of BPD is that your emotions don’t just show up; they crash in like a wave. Anger, fear, shame, love, they can all feel so intense it’s hard to know what’s real or what’s safe. You might go from laughing to crying in minutes and wonder why no one else seems to feel things that deeply. You’re not dramatic. Your nervous system is in overdrive. You’re not broken, you’re raw.
Being Alone Feels Like Abandonment
Texts left on “read.” A canceled plan. A tone shift in someone’s voice.
These tiny things might set off an emotional spiral where it feels like you’re being rejected, unloved, or left behind. It doesn’t matter if your brain knows it’s probably nothing, your body and heart are screaming it’s everything. You might cling too tightly or push people away before they can leave. It’s exhausting. And heartbreaking. But it makes sense when abandonment has shaped so much of your story.
Relationships Feel Like a Rollercoaster
You love hard, and you hurt harder. One day, someone is your favorite person in the world, the next, they feel unsafe, distant, or completely wrong for you. And then the guilt hits, and you miss them, and the cycle repeats. It’s not because you’re manipulative or cruel. It’s because you’re scared of being left, being disappointed, not being enough. And that fear runs deep.
You Don’t Know Who You Are Sometimes
One minute you’re confident and hopeful, the next you don’t even recognize yourself. You might change how you dress, what you believe, who you hang out with, all in an effort to figure out who you really are. It’s disorienting. And lonely. Especially when you’re constantly shape-shifting to feel worthy, lovable, or safe.
Hurt People Sometimes Hurt Themselves
Self-harm, reckless behavior, impulsive decisions, they’re not attention-seeking. They’re a pain relief when nothing else works. If you’ve ever found yourself doing things you regret just to escape a moment of agony, you’re not alone. And you’re not bad. You’re in pain. And you deserve support.
You Are More Than a Diagnosis
Borderline Personality Disorder is not who you are. It’s something you’re living with, and healing is possible. You don’t need to earn love by being perfect. You don’t need to punish yourself for feeling too deeply.
You are not too much.
You are not unlovable.
You are not broken.
You are someone who has survived an emotional war, and your feelings, though messy and intense, are valid. You can learn new ways to cope. You can build a life worth living. And you deserve to.
If you connected with this post, Mish might be a good fit for you. Please schedule a free consultation to meet the writer and see if she’s a good fit.
